10 Truths about Your Infertile Friend
There are so many couples that struggle with infertility. TOO MANY couples. It is a pain that I wish upon NOBODY. To have a righteous, good desire and for it not to come to pass easily, is probably one of the hardest things anyone could go through. Today I want to tell you the truth. To tell you how it feels to be infertile and how we really feel about you and your sweet new baby that you are expecting.
1. She is happy for you. To see you happy, makes her SO happy. She is so glad that you don't have to go through what she is going though. She doesn't want anyone to have to suffer like she is (especially her friend) and wants you to find the greatest joy, that she knows motherhood brings.
2. Don't be nervous to talk to her about your fun news or pregnancy. The longer you keep it a secret, the more it hurts. Tell her fast and let her experience the joy with you. There is nothing you can say or do that will make the news easier for her - so know that she my cry. In fact, she will probably cry. She will cry not because she is weak, but because she has been so strong.
3. She wants you to treasure EVERY part of being pregnant. Please. She begs you. She knows it isn't ALL fun and games. The nausea. The pain. The sleep deprivation. The uncomfortableness. But try to cherish it. Be grateful for that baby inside of you. She would do anything in the world to feel a baby kick. The crave pickles and ice cream. To not be able to see her toes because of a big baby bell. Or waddle into a hospital to give birth to a miracle.
4. She hopes you will remember to never take being a mom for granted. NEVER. EVER. Being a mom is the most incredible, precious and rewarding calling you will ever have. There will be hard times and frustrating times There will be tears and screams. But after the challenges, will come the greatest joys and the most amazing satisfactions that will make it ALL worth it. Love your little ones. Kiss them. Hug them. Tell them they are good and kind and beautiful and talented and strong and brave. Let them know how precious they are.
5. She will want to come over and hold your sweet baby. And she will want to stay all day long. When she holds your new baby, she will feel complete for a minute. She may close her eyes and breath in deep. There is NOTHING more perfect than a brand new baby straight from heaven. She will want to cuddle the baby and steal all the kisses in the world. She will love your children like they are her own.
6. She may be suffering in silence. You may not even know that she is hurting. She may have a smile on her face and may not even ever mention the word baby or infertility. She may be smiling on the outside, but completely breaking on the inside. You never know what someone is going through - we all have our stories to tell. Be kind.
7. Infertility doesn't just go away - it is something she will probably live with even if she has a baby of her own. Sometimes looks can be deceiving. Just because she is a mom, doesn't mean she wouldn't love another baby.
8. She thinks you are an amazing mom. And dreams of being like you one day. She looks up to you and is taking notes. She wants to look that cute in maternity clothes! She wants a play room full of toys! She wants to be too busy with her family, that he kitchen is a mess and her laundry pile is higher than the ceiling! She wants to do her daughter's hair and cheer for her son at a soccer game. She wants to read books. Sing songs. Play the tickle monster. Have an excuse to watch Disney movies. Rock a child to sleep. And to hear the word, "Mom! Mom! Mom! seventy-six times in an hour.
9. She needs your prayers and feels them daily. When you ask her what you can do for her and she says, "nothing" - know that there is always something. You can always pray. You can give her hope. You can show her that she is never alone.
10. She cherishes your friendship and is grateful for you. All of our lives get hard because we all have different trials. But no matter what she goes through - or what you have to go through- she will love you. Her heart is full that she has a friend like you! Someone that amongst your different experiences, can be there for each other no matter what.
