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Here today with a Heavy Heart


I am currently CD2, which means IUI #1 was not successful. Of all the months that I have been let down and disappointed, this month has by far hurt the most. I could have sworn this was going to work.

By now, I hope you all have picked up on what a research junkie I am, and with this heartbreaking news, I was in desparate need for answers. Like with anything new, it needs time to "set" in. From what the doctors tell me, the 2nd - 4th cycles are more likely to work.

So more waiting, more time, more emotional break downs... Is God testing me? Making sure I can handle being a mom, building my patience, my strength, my determination? I wish I could look into the future and see if this is all worth it. Wouldn't that be an amazing super power?

Tomorrow, I will start another round of (dreadful) Clomid. On my 30th birthday, July 2, I will go in for another ultrasound to check the size of my follicles and do blood work to look at my progesterone levels. If all looks good, we will do the hCg trigger shot on Friday and the insemination will either be on July 4th or 5th depending on what my follicles look like. Last time, the doctor waited an extra day to let the follies get a little bigger.

I am not really sure who is reading this, but I just want to let all the mommies out there to give your children a big hug tonight and be grateful that you get to be their mom. I am not saying that you don't already think this. I just feel like sometimes it can be taken for granted. When in fact, conceiving is one of the hardest things to do. If you ever get bored do some reasearch and see what our bodies and our DH's bodies have to do in just the right in order to make that special miracle. It will BLOW your mind.

I will leave you with a special scripture that a good friend shared with me this weekend -

Romans 5:3-5

"Not only so, but we also glory in our suffereings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Meet the Couple 

Josh & Jessica's Story

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