Why is this so hard?

So today is D-Day!! And just like clock work, like my body never skipped a beat, I started my period!!! This cycle coming to an end was hard. I had so many early pregnancy signs that I was starting to get optimistic that this was our month. Boy was I wrong.

What am I not doing right? Is there some magical way to have intercourse and get pregnant that I am missing? This is so bizarre and it's not like I have anything to blame it on. We have unexplained infertility. Which means, what? That the doctors have no answers on why we aren't conceiving.

So like I said in my last post, we are on to the next step. I called my doctor first thing this morning to see about prepping for the IUI procedure. I have a follow up appointment on May 6 and he won't do anything until after that appointment. Which means that I won't be able to start my fertility drugs until my next period/cycle. Ugh... so that means I have to wait!! Which don't get me wrong, my hopes are that we conceive this month. Ha, I say the same thing every month!

I am still optimistic, but at this point, (and maybe because I'm on my 1st day of my period) I am over this! And I know that this feeling will pass and yes, we will continue to try! But right now, at this very moment, I want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Ok, I am done whining! I will leave you with my latest horoscope from Yodha; which seems to have some truth to it.

"Regarding a present circumstance you might have come across, you seem to be standing in a difficult position. It's confusing and hard to comprehend, making it less easy for you to come to a conclusion. But no matter how complex this situation is, you are quite aware of the most favorable direction you have to take. It might need to spend some lone time and attuning to your inner-self and as you do that, worry less about what others may think and let nothing hold you back from following you instincts this time. Once you have your answer, you will be glad that you listened to yourself."