Good Vibes Only
I started POAS on CD 8 with my OPKs. Did you understand the lingo? If not, check it out here. But just this one time, POAS - peeing on a stick; CD - cycle day; OPK - ovulation predictor kit. :)
Well today is CD 12 and I got a prominent positive this morning. In the past, I have tried the whole temping thing and I tried again this time and I did it maybe 4 days but then missed two days. See with temping you have to do it before you get out of bed, well usually I have to pee so bad that I completely forget to do it. Plus, when you take your basal body temperature it will only confirm that you ovulated because your temperature will spike a little from the levels of progesterone (heating hormone). I know that I ovulate on a regular basis just because I have very regular cycles. So I have never relied heavily on this method of tracking.
I was so happy to see the positive. Mainly, because I don't think I ever got a positive in February and if I did it was a faint one and I didn't catch it. I was out of town in during March's fertile window so we took the month off. Now, don't get me wrong, I want a baby extremely bad but it was nice taking the month off.
The method of BD'ing we do is every other day during my fertile window and that hasn't changed in 14 months. I have heard that this is the best method. It gives the male time produce strong sperm. From what I have heard/read it is best that the sperm are waiting for the egg instead of the other way around. For some reason, this month I feel different. I am not sure how to explain it though. I just feel more relaxed and at ease. Maybe its because I found out that I have 12 follicles that have the potential to become our little bundle of joy? Maybe its because I am slightly starting to give up? I have no clue. But I am going with it. Maybe this is our month. Of course, do you realize how many times I have said that? LOL!
I really am trying my hardest to not let this whole process consume me. But until you are in my shoes or have been in this same place, you have no idea how hard that is. It is all you think about. Every weird pinch, dream, craving, mood change takes over and your mind is suddenly filled with all these hopes.
I understand when friends & collegues say, "Don't worry about it, just let it happen." But do you really know how hard that is? To me, it is like telling me, "hey don't breathe." It is literally impossible. But don't get me wrong, I appreciate it and at times you don't really have anything else to say. So, trust me, I get it. When you want something so bad that is all you tend to think about and at this time in our life, the only thing missing is a child.
A good friend once told me, "If you want something, just tell yourself I am going to get it and put a date on it."
So here it is... "I want a baby by January 2016!"
